Happy year of the snake! I’ve been thinking a lot about teeth.
On January 1st I sat down to do my yearly align myself with the cosmic forces of the universe and tap into the new me journaling session. I broke out the paints and started drawing a snake. The snake had large fangs with little drops of blood falling off of them. I was really resonating with the biting, poisoning and slow demise of my enemies, to then slither back into the darkness vibe. Things are really fucked up, I’ve given up on thinking “this is going to be a great year” since January of 2020. But I still like to think about how I’m adapting to the world or some aspirational vision of how best to get through this.
The dragon’s in the Critical Role world have become a little obsession of mine. They aren’t good dragons, they are pretty evil, but they are also just doing what they have to do to get what they want, and that’s kind of inspiring. Thordak, the main baddie in Vox Machina (probably) has some of the best lines that when I hear them I think, “Yes. I feel that”. When Thordak says “Your monuments shall fall. Your civilization erased” with that cutting, assured cadence… I mean PLEASE! I yearn for that confidence, that conviction to destroy the old world and build anew. I mean, I don’t condone one dragon melting an enitre city, but if I could tap into it a little, I think that would be a good thing.
Another aspect of the snake I was thinking about was the shedding of skin. The often painful and awkward process of discarding parts of yourself that don’t align with who you want to be. I was thinking about it in a very abstract and like, spiritual sense? But then, at the ripe age of 31, my first wisdom tooth started to peek out of my gum. It didn’t hurt at first but over a couple of days my mouth started to feel raw and I could barely open it.
How am I supposed to bite and devour my enemies if I can barely open my mouth!?
It wasn’t an infection, which would have been worse. My tooth is coming down at an angle and cutting up the cheek and gum. So that tooth is actually too sharp for the soft and tender home it wishes to live. But even if it dropped at a good angle I can already see a molar being shoved off course and misaligning my bite. There just isn’t room for her here.
The same day I noticed my tooth emerging I read a section in T. Kingfisher’s book “Nettle & Bone” where the main character’s tooth is non-consensually sold in a goblin market. A gross bird man pry’s open her mouth with his beak and then, using a small flute or something, gets all the teeth to dance (EW) and one of them dances right out of her mouth. It was a really fun moment but the timing felt like a personal attack on my sanity. Most people stop getting new teeth in their teens or twenties, something about it is just really disorienting. I’m having flashbacks to long buried memories of sitting in my elementary school desk and pressing my tongue on freshly exposed gum.
So this is who I am now. On the inside. A limbless hunter, squirming through the brush, waiting in the shadows with too many teeth and a dragon obsession. May you fear me, watch where you step and send little gifts.
Amen.
My Little Gifts For You:
Viy (1967)
How to test healing power – A Critical Role animatic
KNIFEBEETLE – A webcomic ring
Roadhome.fm
Hi my love. Thanks for the shares. The knifebeetle thing is insanely fun and interesting. I can’t believe how much good entertainment exists outside of social media platforms and how long we’ve been far too sunk into that pit of despair.
Also, LOVED Nettle and Bone! Omg T.Kingfisher writes with the perfect blend of humor and horror. I love it.
Funnily enough, as soon as I opened up the article and saw the word “bite” I thought about how funny it is that we’re both following such similar patterns of thought. Or maybe this pathway just exists in the ether and we both kinda sort of got on it? Anyway, my puppy is teething like mad and he transformed into a little land shark like overnight. We’ve been reading so much about teething in puppies and I learned that puppies, since they don’t have hands (obviously), learn about the world through their mouth. Things that can be eaten, things that are friends, not friends and things that can be hunted, things that can be played with, things that can’t be played with. They learn all this through bite. Puppies learn about consequence through bite (if you train them well that is). They show their displeasure and excitement through bite and even when they’re overtired (as we learned very quickly) they get very bitey.
Anyway, I have the battle scars on my hand to show for it and it’s such a time because he’s sooooo lovable that you want to cuddle him but he’s trying to bite your face off the whole time. I wondered where the saying “you don’t bite the hand that feeds you” came from and I was like “surely no dog would think this to be an accurate idiom for anything with teeth.” It’s really painful for them when they’re teething and the best we can do is try to give him toys and be patient with him, but the interesting bit is also how we’ve had to be patient with each other.