The last time we casually had that conversation about feeling as though I’ve lost agency over my time and body was the first time I vocalized it to a person in that context. I’ve been dwelling over this for awhile and now it feels as though it has taken weight and space in the world.

Anyhow, it feels like a tangible thing to work towards; to take back agency. I feel like much of my 40s are going to be spent in a sustainable pursuit of this and it’s pretty exciting, I think. I needed the time and space to understand and internalize the difference between trauma, boredom, stability, and peace. So after all that hard work and emotional labor, I’m finally here. And now I can formulate and visualize the things I need and want within my mind so that I can give it shape and form in the real world.

Anyway, great conversations, as always. ❤️

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By tigerbeam

A little lawful, a little chaotic but very good.

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